Am I the last one?

Tag Tag Tag Tag!!!!
You know the drill.
Answer the following with one word:
Where is your cell phone? Charging
Where is your significant other? Working
Hair color? brown
Your mother? Working
Your father? Dead
Your favorite thing? Children
Your dream last night? Awesome
Your dream/goal? Business
The room you’re in? Laundry
Your hobby? Children
Your fear? Death
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Rich
Where were you last night? Gym
What you’re not? Dumb
One of your wish-list items? Addition
Where you grew up? Lewiston
The last thing you did? Lunch
What are you wearing? jeans
Your TV? Old
Your pet? Sweet
Your computer? Slow
Your mood? Bored
Missing someone? Dad
Favorite store? Ebay
Our summer? Hot
Love someone? Certainly
Your favorite color? bold
When is the last time you laughed? 10 minutes
Last time you cried? Month

Where did the weekend go?

This weekend went by fast! Dan went hunting Friday and I babysat. It was a very boring day at home. Koleton and McClain were both wearing on my patience. Luckily, Dan came home a little sooner than expected.

Saturday we went to Gymnastics and finish getting stuff for our Halloween costumes. The Halloween Party was a blast! Dan was Dog the Bounty Hunter and I was his wife Beth. We won the best costume prize! I love my sisters and we always have a great time together.

Sunday was pretty boring. I felt like crap. I think I had a stomach bug. Dan was outside most of the day working on his pickup. So, thats it.

Koleton hasn't been to school for the last 2 days. He was up most of the night Sunday night with a fever and puked once. I spent the night with him on the couch. After that night I told Dan I want a comfier couch! I think he is feeling much better today but he is still sleepy and a little warm. Hopefully, we will all be back to normal by tomorrow.

Not really much to say here. Babies are napping and Koleton is watching a cartoon. Hmmm...McClain doesn't have a binky anymore. He still asks for it but we just distract him. I am starting some potty training with him too. I know its early but he already knows what to do on it. Every time we put him on it he goes a little. I think it really helps having an older brother to watch.

I am going to Spokane on Saturday for a party. I'm going all by myself! My parents will have the boys since Dan will be hunting. I'm not doing any shopping. Just doing the party then coming home but it will be nice to listen to MY music and not B-I-N-G-O and Mary had a little lamb! Hopefully it will be a nice drive.

I'm really glad that fall is here! It makes me happy. Fall and Winter are probably my favorite seasons!

We interupt this marriage for hunting season!

So, hunting season opens this weekend. Both Dan and I like to hunt. In fact, I'm the one that got Dan started hunting. He was with me when he shot his first deer. Anyway, he is leaving tomorrow night to go hunting. I also have my hunting lisence but do you think I get to go? NOPE. I get to stay home and take care of the boys. I guess thats a requirement when you're Mom. No more fun, no more hunting, boys are glued to me at the hip bone. Whatever. I'm not complaining about taking care of my children but why do I have to stay home and he gets to go when we BOTH hunt???

Ok, so I wouldn't be so angry about him going for then ENTIRE weekend but after him getting FURIOUS with me for scrapbooking for 5 hours, I have a little resentment. He said he just doesn't understand how I could scrapbook for 5 hours! I don't even get his problem. The boys were asleep for most of the time anyway! He can leave for days, weeks at a time but I can't even be gone for 5 hours. Apparently, I'm supposed to call and check in with him and let him know what I'm doing. UGH!

He says that I always get mad at him for not doing that. True. But he'll tell me he's gonna be home in an hour and its ALWAYS 2 or more hours after that. So, yeah, I'm a little frustrated.

Sorry about the pity party.

I wrote this for a group that I'm in. My Life Stroy

I was born Amber Ann Henderson on January 21, 1983 to Gary and Laura Henderson. My mom was only 17 when she gave birth to me. My parents got married when they found out my mom was pregnant. They lived with my grandma until just after I was born and my Dad took a job as a guide with an outfitter. It was his job to guide hunters up the mountains and help them find game and pack it out. This was truly my Dad’s dream job. However, my mom was left in a cabin with no electricity or running water, with a baby! I’m not sure how old I was when my Dad left that job and we moved into town. My parents divorced when I was 3 and the only thing I remember of them being together was when my Dad left he punched a hole in the wall.

When I was 4 my mom’s boyfriend moved in with us. He treated me well and we got along pretty well. We didn’t have much money but life was pretty good. My real Dad was always a big part of my life. He would take me back to my mom’s on Sundays and they would always get in a fight. There was a lot of tension between them.

Starting in about 5th grade I really began to despise my step dad. We fought a lot. He was VERY strict and I was always getting grounded. It wasn’t just for a day either. It was always 2 weeks and to my room. I remember once I got grounded for eating a handful of chips after school with out asking. I REALLY hated my life. I would just sit in my room and cry. I hung out in my room a lot because it was better than being around my step dad. My mom wouldn’t always agree with my punishments but she would NEVER stick up for me. That made me really not like her much either.

So, I spent as much time with my dad as I could. We went camping a lot. He taught me how to shoot and fish. He also bought me a horse. I was in 4-h with my horse and I loved it. It only lasted a couple years because my dad couldn’t afford it anymore. He smoked pot a lot and that took over his life. I was about 10 when he told me and once he did he wasn’t even discreet about it. I remember he would dry the pot leaves in my grandma’s dehydrator. He would smoke in front of me all the time. He also let me drink and I got drunk for the first time with my dad at 10 years old. I don’t know if he was trying to keep me from saying anything about his pot or what.

The summer I was 14 my dad and I took a trip to Montana to visit my Uncle and my cousin. It was great. We hiked and camped and that is when I learned how to drive a clutch. On the way home he asked me to come live with him. For the first time he had finally moved out of my grandma’s house. He had a good job, a nice car and for once we all thought he was doing well. He told me he was in rehab and if I was living with him I would give him a reason to stick with it. I said YES. I was really excited.

When I got home I had to tell my mom. I did and she really didn’t say much. I thought about it and decided I wanted to continue living with my mom and step dad. I didn’t want to leave my school or friends. When I told my Dad I had changed my mind he blamed it on my mom and was really mad at me. For the first time in my life he hung up the phone with out saying “I love you.” I was devastated.

A couple weeks later my Dad called me and said he understood why I changed my mind. He wasn’t mad at me and he loved me. 2 weeks later my grandma came to my house to tell me my Dad killed himself.

I thought it was my fault. I lost my best friend. I told him everything. My world ended. I had to start my freshman year with out my dad. I was SO angry at my dad. I thought that he didn’t love me enough. I mean, how could he take his own life and hurt me so bad. I felt he was being very selfish. (maybe that’s why I can’t stand selfish people now!) Now I know my dad suffered from depression and was self medicating by using pot. I now know it wasn’t my fault and I’m not as angry with him. I wish my dad was here to see his grand sons and it’s frustrating to know that it was his choice to not be. However, I know that he just couldn’t cope anymore and this was the only way he could get out of the pain he was living in.

After my dad died I was in counseling for about a year. My mom came with me for awhile. My anger issues with my step father came out. He came to one session with us and never went back.

When I was about 16 or 17 my step dad and I started getting along. I worked almost full time and I matured fast. Maybe that’s what we needed. I now look at my step dad as a father. He loves me and my boys.

I met Dan when I was 20. I fell pretty hard. I felt like I had to be around him all the time. I would have an anxiety attack if he wanted to be alone. It was crazy. I don’t know why he stayed with me but now I know it was because he wanted to help me. I’m so grateful he did. I started counseling again and got on anti depressants. I think I was so afraid that this man that I loved so much was going to leave me just like my dad did.

He didn’t and we were married on September 25, 2004. I was about 2 weeks pregnant with Koleton and didn’t know it. I took a pregnancy test the day we got home from our honeymoon. Koleton was born on June 2, 2005 and we had McClain on February 16, 2007.

I’m a stay at home mom now and I love my family more than anything. Life is hard sometimes. Marriage is hard sometimes but I truly believe that what doesn’t break you only makes you stronger. I am a stronger person because of my dad and for that I am grateful to him.

So there you have it...my story.

My poor baby

McClain is sick. He has a low grade fever and a snotty nose with goobery eyes to go along with it. He woke up at 5:45 this morning. I was already up but I know he just didn't feel good. I went to Vigs to get some Sinus Rescue with Silver in it so hopefully within 48 days he will be better. If not then the next step is antibiotics. He is such a little tender heart anyway and even more so when he is sick. I just want to snuggle him all day.